Our good friends at The Zoo Atlanta ( speaking of which did Yoda help name the zoo ? ) have outdone themselves this time.
Anyways, the story about how, what, when , and where keep getting stranger with this story. Supposedly the snake either escaped from the zoo in the Reptile House and was playing Tom Cruise's character in Mission Impossible by infiltrating air ducts, hanging from wire harnesses, and otherwise avoiding the crew at the zoo.
I am thinking that under this scenario if I am a Zoo Atlanta employee, it might be a good time to request some sick days.
The Zoo said the other option was that the snake may have escaped in an alternate location where the public would not be at risk.
OK! to summarize...we don't know where the snake is.
The snake may be catching its own sweat as it hangs over a computer terminal or could be checking out the deals over at IKEA.
The other aspect of this scenario is that the zoo posted no warnings, keep an eye outs, or we're gonna get you suckas signs anywhere in the park. Come on! Seriously, its been in the news sure...but you can't get Jungle Jim and the guys at the petting zoo to hook a Zoo up with some poster board and Sharpies and cobble out some signs about a missing killer snake? My understanding is they opened up the Reptile House for visits...Sure...great idea...and ladies and gentleman we have a special treat today . Let's gather round to pet the Tigers.
This is another example of bumpkins in the ATL developing Southern bias for the great uncleaned outside of God's country.
New Yorkers, Bostonians, Detroitians, Chicagoans, Bismarkians....you know what let's change that to Biz Mark E like from ewwww! Girl you got what I need...but you say you're just a friend...you say you're just a friend...oh baby!
OK, sorry. Those great unkempt read stuff like this and laugh at all of us yet again. I think they see us as that backwoods family from the Simpson's that usually start most phrases like, " Hey Maw, look what I can do"...
You know, get your stuff together Zoo Atlanta...stop releasing killer snakes on the general populous, quit mailing coupons on Sept. 1st that expire on August 31st, and quite putting up billboards about whether or not our captive Gorilla will fornicate or not...
. The story ended up OK because the Houdini Pit Viper was found on the porch of an abandoned home dead. I can imagine some homeless man finding a dry patch of porch at an abandoned home more than willing to give up his squatter's rights to the highly venomous snake. Let's get it together Zoo...until then I am only recommending State Farm Agents and The Obama Administration to visit your wacky death camp.
UPDATE ON SNAKE-GATE 2010...
ReplyDeletethe snake was not found dead on an abandoned home as the AJC reported earlier Aug. 30th...a lady found the snake and beat it like a red headed step child.
Now, in defense of the Zoo Atlanta they did adequately cage 15 of the new 16 snakes the acquired. That would make them Hall of Famers if this was batting average, but instead this is securing the Grim Reaper with fangs...I guarantee this gets stranger before the story dies...strange turns keep getting reported every so often. At least I can entertain myself a little.
UPDATE ON SNAKE -GATE 2010....
ReplyDeleteI called this junk...this is getting to be a huge calamity for the Zoo. The first person to see this Tiger Rattlesnake was a 2 1/2 year old toddler. Little dude got within four feet of the snake before his mom picked him up in sheer terror for her son.
Well, as the AJC reports the Dad went on to kill the snake with a discarded floorboard and with three whacks killed the snake. So this further supports the fact that if the Zoo had posted notices the snake would have been captured and returned and the parents would have most likely been more vigilant since there were no warnings for them regarding the snake.
The Mom went on to fret the entire weekend about a bevy of snakes possibly living under the porch. In fact , she did not find the truth of the matter until Googling "Rattlesnakes" and "Atlanta". Her house is less than 100 yards from the front gate of the Zoo.
The Zoo went on to indicate they were "surprised" that the slithering death trap would be outside zoo grounds. News Flash! It escaped, it doesn't stay next to the cage hoping for a gentle ride back to its enclosure.
Pardon me while I turn on my sarcasm feature to this blog.
OK, so the deadliest Rattle Snake in the World escaped and nearly killed a toddler just across the street from the Zoo. Wow, they are efficient in making sure they could still utilize their own parking for the wake I guess.
Literally, another tidbit gets released about this story every couple of hours.
I have a hard time trusting the Zoo with anything regarding safety ever again. Not only that, but their non chalant attitude of " Hindsight being 20/20 we probably should've knocked on a few doors"; that quote is from the Deputy Director Dwight Lawson.
I feel like I am taking crazy pills here. Maybe we should have told somebody, maybe we should have made some public announcements, maybe we could have thought that it was somewhat possible it escaped the building, ...you know what maybe its possible I would like to "accidentally" release Lefty O'Houlihan and Righty McKnucklesandwich on your unsuspecting rumps.
I find this story fascinating for the copious levels of stupidity conjured up by the Zoo Atlanta. I am sure to bring a couple of rubber snakes with me next time and leave them periodically throughout the park for loads of shenanigans. I am sure I will have more developments to vent about in the next couple of hours, so just keep checking back and find a cozy place for your reading enjoyment...just try to find somewhere plenty of distance away from the Zoo.